This morning's special ingredient in the daily spam omelette took the form of this header in my mailbox:
Well click it, already -- you know you want to......you too can purchase a 30-day supply of The Amazing Male Virility Enhancement System for a mere $59.95. ...~gawd~....
More on the Sun-Deprived
If you survived that above link, you are to be congratulated. Consider this your reward: The Band Has Yet to Let me Forget that I missed posting on 01/01/01 and on 01/20/01, and Your Humble Chronicler has yet to find a way to redeem himself -- until now. Some of you, Dear Readers, may already be familiar with a strange tradition of these parts, which occurs every year on 02/02, wherein an Oversized Rodent Assumes the Mantle of the Oracle, and is consulted regarding the next month-and-a-half of meteorological events. You can even review his batting average over time.
It's true. It's bad enough that homo sapien counterparts rarely come close to offering an accurate five-day forecast. To further complicate things, there's the whole matter of the Pretenders to the Throne:
- General Beauregard Lee
- a cheese-loving Usurper to the Throne from Wisconsin, who goes by the name of Sun Prairie Jimmy
- Tennessee Groundhog, obviously a terrorist, judging from his mugshot (don't be fooled by that cheap grocery-store bouquet -- this boy's packin' some serious heat!)
- Wiarton Willie, from the Great White
- Octorara Orphie, whose subversive activities are so underground (********g*r*o*a*n*******) that we couldn't even locate a specific link for him....uh....her (?).....it -- but turned up a few other contenders in the process.
Even the dot.coms are in on the...umm...fun.
So, you see, the insanity is spreading, it appears.
Well, I keep telling you how weird they are!!!!
Why, it's just enough to make me wanna log out, work on my taxes, and (attempt to) clean up The Band's headquarters. Later.
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