Stupid Item #1 -- Category: E-mail
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ONLINE CHAT EVENTS - THIS WEEK AT TALK CITY
January 8, 2001 - January 15, 2001
Learn How to Kiss
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The Band's Handwritten Reply on high-quality fine vellum paper:
I'll ride my bike, thanks.
Sincerely, TBH
Stupid Item #2 -- Category: Snail-mail
The Band yesterday received a plain white envelope, postmarked Santa Ana, CA, addressed to Yours Truly. Upon opening, we find a page torn from some publication (?) called Executive Focus. The page is designed to resemble a magazine article -- complete with life-like jagged edge on one side, as if it were actually torn from a real magazine. (Maybe it was. Who knows.)
Anyway, this article, titled, "Catapult Yourself to the Top -- Become an Electrifying Public Speaker!" (yes, Virginia, there is an exclamation point), is actually an ad for something called American Speaker. The gist is that you can order it now, for a mere $297. And -- if you order it now -- receive a FREE Bonus -- "100 Best Quotes for 2001." Most intriguing is the hand-printed post-it note stuck on the article, which says, simply: "Try this. It's really good! -- J." Then, today, we receive another piece of mail, same postmark -- this one entitled "Add an Hour to Your Day: How to Get Organized...and Get a Life" -- even the same content on the sticky note, albeit scrawled in a different more feminine hand. No bonus offer with this one, but the opportunity to subscribe to The Organized Executive for only $97 is tough to resist... Cursory web searches (on Metacrawler, of course) for "Executive Focus" and "American Speaker" turned up no hits, though further examination of the ad reveals, in fine print, this phrase: "Personalized promotion by Briefings Publishing Group." Go there, and you'll find that, "By seeking out this site, you've taken a big step toward making your work life easier." Still waiting for that effect to kick in....
Please accept this submission for inclusion in your 'Best Quotes' compilation: Bite me.
Sincerely, TBH
On Other Fronts: You think you have it bad -- nothing is easy for baby elephant seals.
Heard: A pundit on the radio this morning used the phrase "giant sucking sound," which Rang A Bell and prompted The Band to search its memory banks for the origin of the phrase in the media vernacular. We can't be certain, but we're fairly sure it harks back to the Halcyon Days of H. Ross Perot, founder of the Reform Party. Say what you will about his politics, but Perot is undeniably amusing at times. Plus, he holds the distinction of having a name which, like The Band's, converts nicely to a TLA -- in this case, "HRP." And we still love the story about how this former IBM employee, after selling his quota for the year in one month, proposed a new business idea to his employer, only to have it rejected. So Perot moved to Texas with $1,000 he borrowed from his wife and founded Electronic Data Systems. His motto then was reportedly, "We have to succeed, therefore we will." And he did, becoming independently wealthy and quite influential. (EDS was later acquired by General Motors, I think, which then decided they knew how to run EDS better than Perot did. So he resigned from the board. Spunky little fellow, this guy. TBH approves.)
Note: Speaking of reform, the term is "pundit." Yes, that's right -- "pun-DIT" -- not "pun-DINT," as we too often hear these days. As my dad used to say, look it up -- it's pun-DIT -- pun-dit, DIT, DIT*&@#&@*&$@~!!!!!!! Note that there is no alternative pronunciation. So, when did broadcasters decide that they could butcher the language like so many lay people? TBH is not amused. The next time you overhear a professional radio or tv broadcaster incorrectly pronounce this simple word, we encourage you, dear reader, to change the channel in protest.
Last But Not Least: Way back in the early days of this TBH blog, reference was made to contemporary singer/songwriter Tori Amos, and Your Narrator felt that it was High Time to revisit the topic of musical influences on Trudy's Bitchin' Hats. Ms. Amos came into The Band's life during a dark and somewhat melodramatic period which required a certain healing musical vibe. Certain frequencies of this vibe came were provided by Tori's music and lyrics. Her incredible debut, Little Earthquakes, remains one of those albums that TBH can still listen to and hear new things; I swear, we listened to "Silent All These Years" almost every day for nearly a year before we understood the meaning of the lyrics, "but what if I'm a mermaid / in these jeans of his / with her name still on it." Wow.
Along these lines, check out these folks, which TBH sometimes irreverently refers to as "The Pain Chicks":
- Mystical, lyrical, Celtic -- however you describe it, Loreena McKennit (her site, Warner Bros site) writes some beautiful music.
- More beauty from Sarah McLachlan.
- The incredible Shawn Colvin
- They started as October Project, but now they're November Project -- full-blown orchestral waves of sound, very melodic if somewhat overproduced. Lovely if you're in the right mood.
Other Great Artists with Great Sites:
- You've recognized the musical stylings of the Dynamic Duo of the Hollywood upscale Lounge Lizard scene for decades -- now you can join Donald Fagen and Walter Becker at their expectedly irreverant and surprisingly self-deprecating Steely Dan site -- good stuff!
- All you need to know about the Dave Matthews Band at The Warehouse.
- Former Hüsker Dü frontman Bob Mould keeps you in the loop on his comings and goings, plus gives you the straight stuff on the demise of his band Sugar, and why he has chosen "to move toward something that doesn't disrupt my attempt at having a life, separate from my career, for chunks of 4 months of time." A true artist and a truly comprehensive site.
- If the music and words of former Throwing Muse and, later, Belly sister Kristin Hersh do not make you laugh, cry and want to scream -- then TBH is afraid there's something terribly wrong with your emotional motherboard. (And if that sentence structure gave you a headache, I understand why, and offer my apologies. Thanks for sticking with us.) She Who Brought Us Hips and Makers rocks on. :)
- From an old Addicted to Noise article:
Former lead Muse Kristen Hersch remembers it well. "I remember walking up to the bar at the Rat," says Hersch, referring to Boston's legendary Kenmore Square club. "And a friend of mine was just staring at the stage, waiting for the opening band. And that was strange, because there was always a ton of opening bands there. But he told me this one was good -- that they were called the Pixies. And I thought that was a really goofy name for a band. But then all of a sudden, I was blown away," she said. "They all wore eyeliner, and Charles [Thompson] was soft, with a shaved head and a creamsickle-colored shirt. Actually... I actually thought they were all a bunch of lesbians."
(Kristen, we love you.) And they took the stage and may very well have played this tune:"I was talking to peachy-peach about / kissy-kiss..."
Yes, they called themselves The Pixies and they were arguably one of The Best Bands Ever. Next to TBH, of course.
But, life so goes on. Today, if you look you will find Black Francis [b. 1965, Charles Michael Kitteridge Thompson], formerly Pixies frontman, reincarnated as Frank Black and the Catholics.
- This Family Tree would completely incomplete without more than a mention of The Breeders ("I'll be the bong in your reggae song"), where you find Kristen's Muse sister, Tanya Donelly in unholy cahoots with Pixie Kim Deal, later joined by twin sister Kelley Deal (who in true Muses fashion has emerged from what she calls her "12-step thingy" at Minnesota's Hazelden Foundation like a Phoenix from the ashes, and now keeps busy with her own band, The Kelley Deal 6000, or TKD6K, for short). You see, back in the day (1990), Tanya, Kim and Kelley formed The Breeders as -- get this -- "a little side project." (We're talking creativity to fucking burn with these grrrlz. Boy bands eat your hearts out.) Kim, along with Breeders bassist Jim Macpherson, now fronts a group called The Amps, play/sing/ing under the stage name of Tammy Ampersand (!). Cute. And they're based in Dayton, Ohio. Oh my. (Yes, Virginia, wonders will never cease.)
- Further proof that Life Goes On is offered by former Camper van Beethoven helmsman, David Lowery, himself reconstituted with additives as Cracker -- nice site and well worth visiting.
- Another great and personal site belongs to Jane Siberry. After hearing Jane, if you don't completely adore her work, get thee soon some serious professional help.
Lest We Forget the Labels: When you need a source for the music mentioned above, plus tons of other great shit, here are two damned good starts:
Enjoy!
Now, back to blogland -- more peoples to visit when you can:
- Young kaycee nicole has put together a site she calls Living Colours which is not only inspiring but proves we think that you don't need to be old to be wise. Fight on, kaycee.
- Find a different brand of wisdom here.
- Much writing of merit here at Crushing Krisis and The Band likes the background.
- The Band's liking the style over at twenty-seven dreams.
- We like michelle's sapphireblue site lots.
- What the naked eye can discern in the a v a i l a b l e l i g h t will not dissappoint.
- Charles Bukowski wrote, love is a dog from hell, and here's one blogger's variation on that theme.
- Hungry? If you can't find what you're looking for here, TBH recommends Lola's Soups of Insanity at Cheating Death Once Again. Lola's cool -- take The Band's word for it. And she's looking for work, so hire her, already. (some adult content)
- Got mail from monde over at thraam transmissions, discorporate, where TBH was indoctrinated with a good deal of fanfare into the oddbloggers web ring. In the wake of Y2K, our ranking as the nineteenth blog to be granted oddblogger status appeals to our sense of the retro.....19.....19.....19......we like it....could be a mantra....or the title of our next album....might have to rename the site. We are honoured.
- You've seen him on TV, now visit The Horny Goat, who apparently resides right here in the 'burgh.
- If you enjoy the stylings of the Goat-man, he points us to speechtherapy, here expressing valid opinions on the Mind-Numbing Brain Death that is Television. (...but we're not biased....*grin*...)
- TBH has no idea what to make of this one, except that it's called Burble and it's odd. Good luck.
no boloney /
Ride around on my bicycle like a pony /
I'm wavin hi hi hi hi hi...
- The Pixies -
{~sigh~}
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