Boring

Dropped off the dry cleaning on my way in this morning, and sat at a light behind a light pick-up whose back window featured the following stickers:

Vote Bush / Cheney

NRA

All things are possible under God

Bring the Integrity Back to the Whitehouse
Oi vay. I s'pose PBS's 5-part series on The Secret Life of the Brain will get pre-empted by the state of the union address.

Like, is anyone else out there surprised that we haven't yet seen a new piece on how the former Clinton administration would have handled this whole terrorism situation? Or how Al Gore would have handled it, had he been elected?

Odd

The Band just learned that Your Humble Chronicler is worth "exactly $2,115,470.00." Yes, it really says "exactly," and, no -- we don't have any idea how they calculated that.

Update

Just sent Ev. the $35 annual fee for Blogger Pro. The Band figures it's worth it, even if it takes us awhile to make widescale improvements around here. Besides, this here Bitchin' Hats site is pushing two years -- same blog-channel, same blog-place -- and we'd hate to lose it. (How long have you been blogging??...)

Plus we're just darned fond of Blogger. And it'll match our t-shirt.

Isn't it Enronic?

Ooh. Accountants at Arthur Andersen doing creative accounting. What a concept.

Speaking of concepts -- sad to see the Catholic Church in the news in such a shitty light. Can't say that we're suprised. Now, lest all you faithful followers out there get yer p(R)anti(l)es in a wad, know that The Band is a product of twelve full years of Catholic schooling. Wasn't until Your Humble Chronicler began to study the roots of Catholicism and theology as an undergrad at Case Western Reserve University that we learned that we had, in the lingo of the Church, "fallen fully and wholly away from the Catholic and Apostolic faith." (Thinking back -- aside from some personal opinions that birth control simply makes sense and that homosexual relationships aren't "unnatural" -- we recall that the specific criterion for our personal fall from grace was our skepticism over such miracles as The Ascension and The Assumption; to be a Catholic, according to Church doctrine, you must accept wholly a belief in these and other miracles. We know it wasn't about premarital sex, because -- with the exception of many hours of lip-locking and some well-intentioned heavy petting, we lost our cherry way later than we like to admit -- likely a result, in part, of the aforementioned twelve years of programming. Not that we're bitter; in fact, we like to think that the years of deprivation of the Sweeter Fruits engendered a strong sensual imagination. Though we must confess that we still harbor a few hazy memories of some long-lost (then) young hotties who, if we knew then what we know now..... - Ed.) Anyway -- we share this because we believe that the only legitimate critics are those individuals with first-hand experience. So, we speak here as former Catholics, and not as is so often the case as non/never-been-Catholics who have a marked lack of understanding about the history and traditions of Catholicism.

That being said, we're fairly certain that the recent media attention to the latest example of a priest being evil will not help matters. However, the Church has a long-standing tradition and firmly established practice of not helping itself. To cite a few examples:

The Catholic faith teaches that priests are shepherds of the flock, and encourages the faithful to turn to the individual priests assigned to their parishes as spiritual guides and sources of wise advice. We've never understood how followers could, with any sense of confidence, could turn to their priests for marital or relationship advice, when one of the criteria for priesthood is celibacy, which pretty much takes these guys out of the experience loop, as far as the Mysterious Dance of Love Between Mortals goes. In other words, when you're planning a wilderness adventure, you don't turn to an inveterate city dweller for survival tips.

The Band recommends: Priests should be permitted to have personal relationships, including getting married and having families. Most other faiths have already come to terms with and accepted this as a good idea for their spiritual leaders. Rabbis have wives and families and kids -- and even businesses. In a world where so much unhappiness stems from misunderstandings over love or money, believers should be able to turn to leaders who can speak from experience. Furthermore, in light of the sexual dysfunction so rampant within the ranks of the Church, permitting priests to have normal intimate relationships could go a long way towards reducing the Draconian repression of nature.

For quite a number of years -- decades, even -- the Church has faced a personnel crisis. There aren't enough priests available to serve the willing faithful. Yet, as an organization, it continues to limit its prospects for recovery, let alone growth, by eliminating half of its applicant pool -- say it with us, folks -- women -- from the mix. When women are permitted to participate, it is in the roles of nuns and sisters -- roles which are subservient to priests. Perhaps not so much by design as by tradition, women who take the vow are permitted to participate in the ritual of The Mass, but they are restricted from being able to administer the seven holy Sacraments. This flies in the face of what Mary Magdalene was all about, let alone others who come to mind -- Edith Stein, Hildegarde of Bingen and Joan of Arc, not to mention Mother Theresa.

The Band recommends: Open the priesthood ranks to women.

With the exception pehaps of the Jesuit order (members of which are required to study for, like, 16 years before earning their license), the Church is rife with priests/leaders who themselves seem to either not understand theology or to be so frightened and intimidated by the complementary concepts of personal freedom and individual responsibility that they routinely mislead their parishioners/followers. Misinformation about Catholicism is rampant among practicing Catholics. It's no wonder that non-Catholics so often have warped views of Catholics -- at least they have a viable excuse for their misunderstanding. Couple of examples:

• Traditional Catholics widely believe in what's technically called papal infallibility, which is a belief that the Pope is never wrong, because whatever Il Papa says is Divinely Inspired. Since the established Rules of Engagement between God(s) and (hu)Man(s) dictate that the gods are always right ("As Flies to wanton Boyes, are we to th' Gods,/They kill us for their sport" - King Lear), then, whatever the Pope says cannot be wrong. This is inaccurate. Church doctrine states that, as the leader of the Church, the official Head Shepherd, the Pope has an obligation to his flock to provide sound and humane guidance. When an issue is so complex (abortion, euthanasia, peace on Earth) that it can't be left to priests, pastors, bishops or cardinals to decide, and if within the Church itself there exist so many dissenting opinions that the Pope's involvement is required, then the protocol is that the final ruling will lie with the Pope. It is important here to note that the Catholic Church, in such matters, very closely follows a "rule of law" model. In other words, it takes the long view, and tries to stay true to its mission. For instance, the Church's stance on birth control flows from a belief that only God has the power to determine when a human soul comes into existence, and when that soul takes the long flight home. It truly believes that, if it were to give responsible birth control the green light, then it isn't inconceivable that, way down the line, it'll be held to that same standard on other issues: If we say it's ok for wo/men to decide when a new life is conceived, then we wrest that power from God, and, once we do that, it's all downhill from there. When the Pope makes such a decision, he will issue what is called a papal encyclical, which is basically an official communication from the Vatican in Rome, HQ of the Holy See. These encyclicals (of which there are many, and some of them are quite good -- John XXIII's Pacem in Terris comes to mind) take the form of a holy press release, kind of, but with more weight......more like a real serious corporate memo. Anyway -- papal infallibilty simply means, according to Church doctrine, that -- when the Pope issues an opinion -- it's probably a pretty good and thoughtful opinion. It means that he has consulted with experts and spiritual leaders, and has devoted a great deal of his time and energy to private, quiet, solemn contemplation of the issue, and, at the time that he releases his decision to the public, it is his best effort. In other words, he might not be 100% right, but he's fairly certain that his opinion won't be totally bogus.
  
  
• Another huge misconception -- again widely adhered to by a large percentage of the sheep who make it a regular practice to check in at the main barn every Sunday and on designated Holy Days -- is that the Church has rules and, if you don't follow them, then as a Catholic you suck, and as a human you're prolly gonna land yourself in Hell. This again is an inaccurate representation of the Church's views on a major concept. There is within the Catholic faith a basic Christian tenet that "Man is free until it is determined that he is bound." (This may come straight from the writings of Thomas Aquinas, but I'm not certain. Could be Heidegger. Maybe Kierkegaard. - Ed.) What this means, in a nutshell, is that humans are free to live their lives in whatever way they choose, as long as they do not cause harm or hurt to other humans. If you can't do this, says the Church, then we have some rules that you can follow and, if you adhere to them, you'll probably live a decent life. If, however, you're comfortable troubleshooting your own attempt at existence and you have a solid, humane and forgiving belief system which serves as your personal worldview and to which you adhere as a core philosophy which influences and instructs all of your life choices -- again, with the understanding that none of your choices will harm yourself or anyone else -- then you're perfectly free to do it your way, Mr. Sinatra. But, if you can't, we'll provide a handbook that will keep you out of trouble.

The Band recommends: Know your material, tell the truth and give your followers some credit.

And study, damn it.

A Flickering Blue Light

In light of the disarray over at Kmart, The Band here hazards a guess that Martha Stewart's dance card may be starting to fill up, perhaps with the likes of Target or Wal-Mart, who no doubt would love to sink their icy retail claws into her prodigious Connecticut spice garden. Or dip their huckster wicks into her bountiful cornucopia of accessorized domesticity. Or drink deeply from her lushly appointed cup of abundance, perhaps? Something like that. Suffice it to say that there's some salivation going on in the La-La Land of Product Licensing. (Here in Band-land, we must confess that we've never quite been able to connect the metaphorical "discount superstore" and "designer-label" dots. Still seems a bit of a stretch to us. And we could've sworn that Target had already reserved a seat on Martha's taffeta-draped seasonal bandwagon of comfort.)

At present, the Domestic Dominatrix and Diva -- here described by Barbara Lippert as "the Ralph Lauren of home entertaining" (this article also includes some amusing thoughts on the Martha Stewart-Katie Couric dynamic) -- has this to say: "We remain optimistic that Kmart, our long-time domestic mass-market merchandising retail partner, will ultimately emerge from this situation as a stronger, more competitive company in keeping with its proud heritage." (Go here for the official Martha paper.)

When you've had enough of that, check out some darker notions in home decor, reputedly inspired by Martha nonetheless.

It's a good thing.

Yet One More Reason

To despise the practices of the Taliban. Seems that oppressing people and blowing up religio-cultural icons just wasn't enough for the barbarians.

Better Outlook

So, the only sighting during the drive in this morning was what appeared to be a discarded bathmat, or something.

Metaprogramming Tends to be Subtle

Noticed that "Ramada Inn" is not far off from "Ramadan." Also that just there's just a one letter difference between fiance and finance.

Peevishness in 2002

We report that our New Year's Resolution of many moons ago to not make New Year's Resolutions still stands.

Instead, The Band wishes to share its latest pet peeves:

Office politiks -- because they suck, in general and, more to the point, they illustrate daily -- if not minute by passing minute -- most and sometimes all of humanity's ugly insecurities. (BTW -- if you haven't lately, visit lola, who is a veritable fountain of introspection.)

People and groups who refer to new choices as additional burdens, instead of additional responsibilities.

TOP 40 RADIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Non-news stories that are reported as if they are news (see: the weather on any given day)

Slow downloads

Winter

War

That no major phone company, to the best of our knowledge, has yet realized that if they would package a land line, long distance, a cell phone, CATV and DSL service together, for a reasonable price, like say $50/mo, everyone would buy it.

Outdated traditions, in all their forms.

People who get pets and then treat them as if they are stuffed animals, instead of living creatures.

When partners insist that when they begin to fade at day's end they simply can't turn in w/out you.

More as they occur to us.

More from Kesey

Quoting John Madden: "There've been a lot more people hurt on astro-turf than grass."

Many like-spirited links to follow over at disinformation in this article on Entheobotany 2001.

Way too much roadkill on the way in this morning -- saw two racoons, a squirrel and a skunk. How hard is it to not run over creatures? I think, in my lifetime, I've hit one small bird -- and experienced two weeks of bad karmic results from it, including not getting a job I was interviewing for at the time. Be careful out there on the roads, people -- pay attention.

Does it come as any suprise...

...that perhaps the greatest threat to modern democracy takes the form of professional sports and junk food??

Realization

The following thought occurred to your Humble Chronicler this morning: Politics -- be they personal, professional or otherwise -- are borne out of an environment in which people with different opinions attempt to use facts or to bend and distort the truth in a competition to affect the acceptance of their preferred version of reality in order to establish, consolidate or broaden inflence or power. Your comments? -- use the message board.

And -- of course -- feel free to quote me.

Some Anthropomorphic Thoughts on the Fate of the Middle East

Given that "middle eastern peace" remains one of the top oxymorons of all time, is it perhaps possible that there's just no hope of peace ever in the region? History would seem to indicate this, as the region has existed in a perenial state of war as far back as I can remember. (Not to mention that it seems to be quite a breeding ground for particularly dangerous and twisted individuals.)

It's all very confusing, particularly (imo) in light of the fact that -- if you've delved at all into learning about other religions -- they all, or most of them at least, seem to boil down to the same thing. Chrisitianity, Islam, Buddhism, Judaism, Catholicism -- all seem to work, at root, under some similar basic assumptions -- a belief or sense that we (humans, earthlings, followers) are probably not alone "out here," a willingness to accept the concept/idea of a higher power or some form of energy that links us all together, and a general philosophy that, if you adhere to a way of life that embraces an acceptance of differences and respect and love for the planet and our fellow inhabitants thereof, you'll generally be ok.

I am routinely upbraided for oversimplifying, yes. But, really -- no world religions or faith of which I'm aware espouses killing people in anyone's name.

We'll argue that sometimes simplification is the answer.

So, for purposes of this discussion, suspend, if you will, your cynicism, atheism, agnosticism or any other such form of disbelief and assume that there may be a God, or many gods, and that the historical figure known as Jesus Christ was indeed the son of the God of the Jews and Catholics. If you were this God, and your son was executed, wouldn't you be infinitely, universally and cosmically heartbroken and pissed off? Even if it was your plan? And, as a heartbroken and outraged God, what would stop you from damning the region forever, as some kind of gateway leading directly into hell? Perhaps the storm that followed Christ's crucifixion according to New Testament accounts was intended as a warning to the "chosen ones"? Sort of along the lines of this: (God speaking) "Ok humans -- I created you in my own image, and fashioned a paradise where you could live. You betrayed me with your selfishness, and fucked it up. Prolly my fault, because I created you, after all (perhaps the orign of the notion of beta testing), so I sent my own son down there to save your sorry asses. So, that's done. Now get the fuck out of here. This land no longer belongs to you. It belongs to my memory."

Perhaps some apocraphyl biblical texts include this scenario -- I don't know -- I haven't seen them, if they do.

Do unto others. Thou shalt not kill. Love thy neighbor as thyself. How hard, really, is that to understand? Is this at all conceivable, or are these just the vacuous thoughts of a habitual oversimplifier? Am I grasping at blasphemous straws?

What are your thoughts??

Viewings

1.) Odd TV

2.) Amazing TV

[Aside: The snow is here.]

Cat 48

The two digit catastrophe serial numbers are assigned by the Catastrophe Service Division of Property Claims Services (PCS) which is a dvision of ISO (Insurance Service Office) which serves the insurance industry and carriers.

PCS assigns to each catastrophe a serial number recognized throughout the industry. Use of this number permits insurers and reinsurers to track reserves and losses to a single discrete event. It is also important for triggering reinsurance coverages under many contracts. Before assigning a serial number, PCS investigates each disaster and determines whether the insurable damage will meet the catastrophe definition. That definition is $25 million in insured damage involving a large number of policyholders and insurers.
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The only national cat codes assigned are from the PCS Division of ISO in New Jersey. They assign cat codes when an "incident" is of the magnitude that they consider to be a significant event.

The most recent were NYC, Cat 48, and TS "Gabrielle" Cat 49.

Many companies will assign a cat code to an event that occurs in an area, or even a sequence of events closely related. It is not uncommon for there to be cat codes for the same event, in the same state, to be of different numbers, letters or designations. All that is up to the respective companies."

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