You can't tell what it is. Not exactly, anyway. Did you hear something? A vibration in your stomach, something not quite unhinged, but on the verge of coming loose. Somewhere between nausea and panic. Did you forget something? A snippet of a conversation, something someone said, something that sounded innocuous in context, transparent, yet, taken out of context in and of itself, holds foreboding. Something coming loose -- what? A moral? some priniciple? some fine line wavering between right and wrong? A bill you forgot to pay? a phone call you forgot to make? a day you forgot to take off? did you remember to turn in that sick day you took last week? how much will your tax return be this year? will it be enough to get a new car? put a downpayment on a house? or to escape? Did you remember some obscure personal anniversary? Did you forget another sibling's birthday? Will this cough ever go away? Are your lungs damaged forever? why do you wake up with the cold sweats almost every night, every winter? why was I born here? why now? Paranoia.
Stuff I Gotta Do
- Get my vision checked and get a new script for glasses.
- Trade in my car.
- Get back to the gym every day after work.
- Find a way to make this job interesting again, or find another one.
- Move south.
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