4.21.2001

Things that Don't Even Make us go "hmmm..."

Yeah. Trying to find newer, happier, more lucrative employment. Trying to relocate to the sunny southwest. Trying to keep it all together at home. Trying to sustain a semblance of positivity despite the third day in a row of rain when the worst that's been predicted has been "partly couldy." Even the weather people are liars. Blah, blah, blah.

So, l tell me -- can you think of anything more useful than this??

From "the April 21 Issue of HP's Daily Freebie":
    BonziBUDDY retails for $40, but You get him FREE!
    Need someone to explore the Internet with you as your
    very own friend and sidekick? BonziBUDDY can talk, joke,
    browse, search, e-mail, and download like no other friend
    you have ever had. He can even compare prices on
    products that you want to buy.
    Click here to download your FREE BonziBUDDY now!!

From Lightspeed Online Research:
    Have you ever looked at your phone and thought, “You know, it would be really cool
    if my phone was shaped like a small Elvis doll. And it would be a lot cooler if, instead
    of ringing, it would swivel its hips and play Jailhouse Rock.” Well, dream no more!
    Go to www.noveltytelephone.com/prodmain.html to find all kinds of novelty phones,
    including Snoopy, Coca-Cola Bottle, Mickey Mouse, Kiss, and Volkswagon Beetle.

{........~sigh~..........}

4.10.2001

Six-and-a-half Things That Make us go hmmm...

This. Hmmmm......

This. Hmmmm......

This. Hmmmm......well.....ackshally, Your Humble Chronicler has been saying this would happen for over five years now.......and if you can't say "toldja so!" on your website, where can you say it?

This. Hmmmm......

This. Hmmmm......

This. Hmmmm......

Also, an April 9th NYT article on the 'burgh, titled, "Rebuilt City Starts to Feel Effects of Slowdown." Though you'd never know it, judging by this. Hmmmm......

4.04.2001

Hi. Just wanted to do that 04/04/01 thing.

Practicing, We Are, for 04/04/04.

So, don't say we never think ahead.

4.03.2001

Ode to the Next Generation

They're young, they're talented, and The Band can't tell if it's awesome that they have this much insight, or just scary and, on some level, maybe sad. But they're using their lives and their experiences to create art, and -- while some of it is silly, and some immature, and some incomprehensible -- as much of it is very moving, and it's all very personal. The Band approves. Check 'em out, drop 'em a line, and tell 'em Rune sent you.

Take this excerpt from Leigh's frailty.org site, which she describes as "not a priority for me, merely an escape." The excerpt:

    "selectively choose issues and then claim them as yr own private pilgrimage. then you can drop & ignore 'em. hey hey. we'll all find our way, man. it is ridiculous, yr naivete & yr way of being left winged. hypocrite. hypoCRITE.

    we should accept everyone, but as we accept everyone, we must not accept those whose opinions differ from ours, let us pray.

    let us hear now, of yr arrogance & yr disgust with the world & the people in it. let us hear of it now, let us pray to it now, the altar of discrepancy and ignorance that infects the earth. they don't understand you.

    let us pray
Wow. If that's escapism, I wonder what reality looks like... Not content to dazzle with her own site, Leigh also serves as hostess for some equally impressive young people -- for instance, emily's Tori Amos-inspired tangled site. The toolbar indicates that we're experiencing a "near-life experience." And there's also polina's departure, dense with photos and observations. And don't miss trash.

Because it's wonderful. Really. trash is wonderful really.

Elsewhere

  • A little bit of everything at Diana Wiener's Especially Vivisection. Subtitled "The living dissection of human life." Neat, clean design -- just like in real life, you click around on the brain to find things. And, like in real life, once you find 'em, you gotta figure 'em out.

  • For angst ("i have a lot of issues about things. but maybe one day, it won't be so bad"), try shannon's symptom site. The Band read the killed post, and wonders if shannon is even aware of the amazing balance that she has struck, with such a sparcity of words and density of emotional content impact.

  • More from Ennui, at lost now for the words.
When you're done, feel free to plan your very own European takeover. Courtesy of NBC and Microsoft, of course. Use this handy tool to spread your propaganda, a la our ever-nutty Lettriste friends. (Refer to the Situationist links of 1/17/01. -- Mr. Ed.)

Jamais travail!!


First they took the world, and then -- ? -- the worldwideweb, perhaps?!?!

"700 BC -- Homing pigeons carry messages in ancient Greece."

So begins the History of the Internet and Web. If you've ever wondered, as The Band has, how it has all come to this, you may find the following links to your liking: Have fun -- and don't forget to stretch before any vigorous activity!!

4.02.2001

Self-deprecation Day

Pretty much sums up the outcome of a (rare) moment in which The Band did some soul-searching:

Still, it's all good -- especially if you can take pictures of it. And, since you've taken the time to visit today, enjoy:

  • Journalistic photography picks from the Missouri School of Journalism and the Nat'l Press Photographers Assn.

  • Good stuff, from Women Speak

  • Soon to be a local classic, we fear. (While you're there, take some time to delve into the rest of the "Best Of" issue to get a real feel for what makes The Natives tick. The results of the "Readers' Poll" are not to be missed; in what other major American city would readers name Red Lobster as the town's best seafood restaurant? Wendy's -- while not in first place -- as second choice for best burger? Why, Pittsburgh, of course. They Note the category for "Best Stripper." Yeah -- it's a classy city. Really.)

  • On a completely different note, go here for some real hilarious stuff -- recordings of radio interviews with Timothy Leary (or you can check out his palm, if you're into that kinda thing) and Robert Anton Wilson, among others. Listening to these actually made it possible to clean my office!


Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About the World Wide Web
(But Were Afraid, nay, Terrified to Ask)


Wherein Erin rightly writes:
    Friday, March 23, 2001
    1:29 PM:

    reading the same unupdated bodies of text every three hours or updated bodies of BLAH BLAH BLAH, click-o-mania, checking the message board, checking the e-mail, checking the counter stats, checking the guestbook, you start to think, "MAYBE THIS IS A WASTE." you start to wonder if perhaps there is something better you could be doing with your time.

    you start to wonder if all hope is lost, if perhaps you will never find anyone out there anything like you, who can challenge you or inspire you or get you out of your head where you can hang out with people other than the Fictionals all the time (Andy Fictional, Melissa Fictional, SELINA FUCKING FICTIONAL), posting to your weblog about unnamed "you's" and crossing your fingers for feedback or questions of "who who??" just so you can act coy ("annoyingly unforthcoming") and say, "Ohhh, no one in particular," BECAUSE THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS THAT YOU ARE INCLINED TO WRITE LONG PASSAGES OF TEXT ABOUT PEOPLE THAT DO NOT FUCKING EXIST.

    Thursday, March 22, 2001
    6:06 PM:

    pardon my absence. i am not in the mood to blog.

    i'm fed up with all this hate hate hate you suck boo hiss fuck bitch damn you're an idiot anger shit. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE FRIENDLY, SUPPORTIVE WEB SCENE? where, you know, you didn't have to feel under fire allthefuckingtime. yeah. that was nice.

    i am going to go become a buddhist and leave you all alone to claw each other to death. HAVE FUN.

    -- from smileasshole.com


And While We're on that Subject...

Found this bit of amusement over at Slam Media:
    Will taking drugs make me cool? No. Unfortunately drugs do not work for everyone, and there is no guarantee that drugs will work for you. There may be insurmountable personal defects which will always keep you from becoming cool no matter how hard you try or how many drugs you take. If this is the case you must simply accept the fact that you are uncool and go with it into full anti-cool, or severely risk moving straight past cool into deep asshole territory.

    -- from text accompanying web article, "Drugs Are Cool, You May Not Be," by James Kent, photos from Erowid, embedded links mine.


That should keep you busy for at least an afternoon.